Full Circle

 Full Circle


When you left

I didn't eat 

or sleep 

for nine days. 
I just curled-up on the floor
and cried to Air Supply.


If it wasn't for our boys
I would have stayed there.

 

When I see you now
it still feels natural 
to reach for you.
I catch myself
just before I rest my hand
on your shoulder
or your thigh...

"You played me like a harp"
or "you read me like braille" 
are both cliché
and we were never trite.

We were a wild horse stampede. 

 

The thought of never holding you again 

puts me in the fetal position
pillow hugged to my chest.

 

My mind spirals 

through old conversations 

looking for answers

but when I reach for moments past

the colors 

they bleed and run.

 

I know, 

I'm repeating myself

again

but, I'm tired

and you're leading me in circles. 

 

Not all circles are round- like

the string of chance 

that brought us together, or 

these sinuous threads

of arteries and veins
pulsing 
to and from the heart 
you gave back to me. 

 

I finally realize

you're looking for happiness in coffee shops 

instead of looking inside yourself 

and you've stopped listening to me. 


How long will it take  
to write you out of my system? 

 

I think I'll drive into the desert tonight

sing to Air Supply on the car stereo 

watch the sky and 

allow the vastness 
to make my sadness
seem small. 

______________________________________________________________________

Note: I was afraid to send you this poem because it is not one of my best, and it is very personal, but today (Oct. 12th) is my birthday, and my wonderful son took me to see Air Supply on the 8th as a birthday gift. Since this poem mentions Air Supply, I decided to go ahead and send it. The poem is kind of a mess. I was a mess when I wrote it. I had a hard time with a title. I came up with  Full Circle because I am crying to Air Supply in the beginning, and singing to them in the end. It's amazing how music can help us deal and heal. 


The most incredible thing happened at the Air Supply concert. A perfect stranger offered me a VIP pass and the seat next to her in the second row! So, of course, I ditched my son and my roommate to take her up on the offer! No, actually, they understood and encouraged me to accept her offer. I don't know what I did to be so blessed. So I not only got to meet the band (again), I also made a new friend. 


I've loved Air Supply since I was 13. They are sacred.    


I only recently discovered GOTR. Love your music too. Maybe someday I will get to see you in concert. 


Sorry for the long note. 















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